Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So many bounce houses so little time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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