I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Success! We fucked roommates!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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