Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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