People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
