even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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