I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
