idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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