If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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