dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
