You're completely useless in the revolution.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
