Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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