Pappa wants mamma naked
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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