sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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