Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
