I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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