U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
