Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
