We're like a lot better than the average bears
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
