Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
