I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
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