Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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