Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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