hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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