just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
