Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
