Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
