Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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