I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
