An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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