Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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