Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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