He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
