Cold hands, warm shart.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
