yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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