Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
