Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize