I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
