Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
