I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I party with great urgency now.
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