Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We have started to decorate penises.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
