Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
