I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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