You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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