Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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