This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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