i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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