margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
