I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I love you. Go after that dick
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
