im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
