If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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