okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
