then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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