Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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