ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
