We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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