She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
