i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
