Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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