im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
