I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
