I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
