she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
