i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
