Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
