Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
