i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
