ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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